On Monday, April 16, 2007
WARNING: long post ahead. be patient, continue reading!emo for the past week.
thought through a lot of stuffs.
anyone ever wondered why God let us go through the pains and the sufferings of life?
the God whom loved and loves us so much.
if He really loved us, need He do this?
but THINK.
whats our pain and torment compared to being nailed on the cross.
dying in humiliation in front of your people.
who are we, and what is our pain, when compared to Him?
He who sacrifices His all, so we could live and be cleansed of our sins?
He who died for us so we could now enjoy salvation and eternal life?
God wants to mould us into the kind of people He created us to be.
He wants to transform us into better people.
thats why the pain and sufferings are in our life.
but look beyond and look far.
rely on not our strength but His.
He will bring us through if we have enough faith in Him.
He will give us better life.
i went for Benny Hinns miracle healing service today with Lendl in Singapore Indoor Stadium.
i wanted to see God at work.
we left before healing started due to growling stomaches and dinner date with Eugene, Vivi and Wanyew.
but before the healing started, there were praise and worship like normal services.
and little short sermons.
praise and worship part i hardly knew the lyrics.
but i didnt fall aslp. i closed my eyes and just silently felt the love and the atmosphere of Him and the love we have for him.
its simply amazing to see so many people gathered under our common love for Him.
people from all over the world.
countries u never imagined would worship Him, the almighty.
Saudi Arabia, Sri Lanka, Korea, Brunei, Myammar and even China!
China, a country so closed even up til this century.
people who are so far away from God. in the sense that God's stuffs are so inaccessible for them.
but they love God too. even more than i love Him i gotta admit.
their overflowing love for God and faith in God touched me.
their tears, their beliefs that God will one day open up China and bless China with more.
i cried. twice.
i sincerely prayed for them from the bottom of my heart.
one girl even secretly installed a satellite dish at the top of her house so that she could watch Christian channels on her TV!
they grew from a small cell group of 20 people to now a huge group of 200 people.
praise the Lord!
i felt so guilty.
people who are so cut off from God cherishes and love Him so much.
but why here in Singapore, where churches are everywhere and Christian bookstores are everywhere, we are lazy in our ways in following Him and even forgets about Him sometimes.
thankyou Lord for speaking to me, for enlightening me today.
thankyou Lord for everything You've given me in my life.
i'll try to manage my time properly from now cause i wanna have private time with You.
commitment to a church...we'll see.
haha i even talked to the taxi driver about Jesus! *clap clap*
but well, i still dont like evangelism.
i've thought through a lot of things in this period of time.
and i just read someone's blog. someone who was with me for over a year.
someone who was and is always there for me.
i finally realised how much i have hurt people around me..
i gotta admit i was still naive still immature still silly. even though i always thought im not.now i know.my world stopped moving cause of one person, my dearest love then.Derrick Ng Ser Yew.i've never forgotten our times together.and i still can cry when u occasionally run through my mind.half a year has passed. but im still lost.i've hurt alot of people from that time til now.friends im ever so grateful for everything u guys and girls have done for me.without you all, i wont know what to do.i know i was insensitive.talking about things i shldnt talk about.going on and on about myself and my screwed up life.neglecting u guys.im sorry. greatly sorry.i'll try to make up for lost time.i'll try to change.obstacles in our life appear so that we can emerge stronger than before.so that we can grow.its all part and parcel of life.cmon people we can do it.BE STRONG.im with you, your friends are with you, your family, and Him our Father above.we're never alone. remember that friends.
(not targetted at anyone in particular. just emo people, be it friends or strangers bloghopping.)
LOVELOVE all, im off to sleep. its now close to 4am and i have class at 9am in the morning! goodness me. and i just told myself i cant slp in class anymore.
will update about the past few days tomorrow. bye for now!
{ If I were a Boy ♥ }
2:27:00 AM